How did the 5-year old girl fall off of the tire swing?

Somebody shot her.

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did the woman do when a lemon tree fell her cat?

Nothing, she just stood there with a sour puss

What did the Mexican say when the house fell on him?

Ayyyy watch it homes!

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What did the priest use to forgive the sinners that shot up his church?

A holey bible. And, yet, it still made more sense than Scientology.

Why do people shoot up schools?

Because it increases the average IQ of the world. It's a public service.

Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

Why did the man break up with his girlfriend who had a lazy eye?

Because she was seeing somebody on the side.

What do you call somebody who suffers from both depression and trisomy 21?

Down's in the dumps

5 Year Old Jokes More 5 Year Old Jokes

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

A: an AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.