How did the shellfish win the underwater beauty pageant?

Using saxitoxin.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do Republicans use rulers?

They want everything to be straight.

What's red, white, and full of holes?

Helen Keller's face after she tries to use a fork.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What did the man get for winning the muscle relaxing contest?

Atrophy!

Which art piece won the Texas Muhammad cartoon contest?

Two chalk outlines.

Shellfish Jokes More Shellfish Jokes

Why did the crab take the last slice of pizza?

Because he's shellfish!

What kind of cars do shellfish drive?

Mussel cars.