How do I look today?

Bruno Mars: "When I see your faceeee" Girl: "Ok ok I get it."

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What was that?

4-year-old: Nothing. Me: 4: Me: OK. Parenting is easier than it looks.

Why does the Pope shower with his briefs on?

He doesn't like to look down on the unemployed.

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Where'd ya get it?

The parrot says, "Africa." (I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)

What is today's special at Google's employee cafeteria?

Alphabet Soup.

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What do you call Bruno Mars?

Michael Jackson the third.

How do I look today?

Bruno Mars: "When I see your faceeee" Girl: "Ok ok I get it."