How do they tie things down on the space station?

They use astro knots.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?

Stand back! I don't know how big it's going to get!

Why can't you tell pun jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things literally

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What do you call a morbidly obese hippy?

Tie Dyeabetes

How do you make an Italian deaf?

Tie their hands behind their back.