How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch?

You pay him for the pizza.

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What do all Yale and Harvard students have in common?

They got into Yale.

How do you know someone went to Harvard?

They tell you.

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How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch?

You pay him for the pizza.

How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. He holds up the light bulb, and the world revolves around him