Harvard Jokes

How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.

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How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. He holds up the light bulb, and the world revolves around him

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep?

Tip him for the pizza.

How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.

What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

How do you know someone went to Harvard?

They tell you.

What do Harvard and a virgin have in common?

You try so hard to get in but 9 months later you regret you ever came.

How do you know if somebody graduated from Harvard?

They'll tell you.

What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common?

They both got accepted to Yale.

What do all Yale and Harvard students have in common?

They got into Yale.

What kind of batteries does a Harvard undergrad use?

AAA

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How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch?

You pay him for the pizza.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How many times I have to tell you to stop making such a mess?

Go to your room.."

How do you offend a white person?

Tell them they can't make racist jokes.

Battery Jokes More Battery Jokes

Why did the robot get the electric chair?

Because he was charged with battery.

Why was the battery arrested ?

cuz it was charged with electricity .

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of drugs to tumblr users take?

Anti-oppressants.

What kind of database does a Pokedex use?

PokeMongoDB

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. He holds up the light bulb, and the world revolves around him

How many r/jokes commenters does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know but that reminds me of a similar joke my uncle used to tell...

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What do people and pizza have in common?

If they're black, they can't feed a family.

What's an STD's favorite kind of pizza?

Heperoni

Yale Jokes More Yale Jokes

What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common?

They both got accepted to Yale.

Where did the pirate go to college?

Yale. He was rejected from H**arrrr**vard.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What punch line is sure to get upvotes no matter how many times it gets posted?

I don't know I just fly the drone"

What did one priest say to the other priest?

Do you know where my son is " "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I'm a necrophiliac."

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What do you call a man holding two apples in one hand and three oranges in another?

No chance of blocking an uppercut.

How does an SJW screw in a light-bulb?

Zir holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around zirself.