How do you get a kid out from a microwave?

Please answer before my wife gets home!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What happened to the baseball played who was unfaithful to his wife?

He was thrown out at home. - His two balls got a strike.

How are a grenade and a wife similar?

If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How can you tell two people are married?

Both are yelling at the same kid.

How do I raise my kids?

Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

How many scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: I don't know, I'm no scientist

Why couldn't the cut down tree answer a riddle?

It was stumped.

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the dead baby in my microwave?

Isaac Newton died a virgin

Why was the surfer such a bad cook?

All he could handle was the microwave