How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's the difference between yogurt and white people?

If left out for 4,000 years, yogurt will develop culture.

What's a girl gotta do to get a drink?

Me: You just give the bartender your order. Her: ... Me: It's really pretty easy. Her: *leaves*

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to pay a Mexican to do it, two to deport him afterwards.

What do you call an aging actor who has finally paid off his house?

Mortgage freeman.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

How many dead babies does it take to fill up my house?

One more.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

Deep pan, crisp and even.

What's the difference between a liberal arts major and a pizza?

The pizza can feed a family.

Philosophy Jokes More Philosophy Jokes

What do you call the corner of the market that specializes in philosophy?

A Nietzsche market!

What do you call a homeless college student?

A philosophy major

Doctorate Jokes More Doctorate Jokes

How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

What do you call a Tungsten Holmium compound with a Doctorate?

Doctor WHo