How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life ?

Tell him a joke when he's a baby !

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Why did the cowboy get a daschund?

Because someone told him to get along little doggie.

What did off-center say to tilted?

I don't know either he told me to askew!"

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What's the difference between a joke and a pretty girl?

sometimes i get the joke.

What kind of jokes do farmers tell?

CORNY JOKES!!!

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What sound does a baby make when you put it in a microwave?

I don't know....I was too busy masterbating.

What is the hardest part of cutting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.