How do you measure a snake?

In inches. Snakes don't have any feet.

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Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

When does a bed grow longer?

A: At night, because two feet are added to it.

Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?

Cause if you dragged them by the feet, they'd fill up with dirt.

Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

What do you get when you cross a snake with a plane?

A boeing constrictor

Which snakes are found on cars?

Windscreen vipers.

Measure Jokes More Measure Jokes

What is Buddhism measured in?

Oooohms

How does the devil measure his drugs?

In pentagrams

Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

Why did ygritte break up with Jon Snow?

She didn't want six inches of snow all year long.

What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?

About three inches.