How do you prevent alcoholism?

Shots.

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How do you prevent 9/11?

Make it a Malaysian airlines flight.

Why did Hugh Jackman single handedly stop a Franciscan botanist from accidentally dropping a match in the forest?

Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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How do you prevent alcoholism?

Shots.

Which Star Wars character was arrested for drunk driving?

Han Solo. Because he took a shot first.

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What did the bartender say to the horse?

bartender: Why the long face Horse: My alcoholism is destroying my family.

What's the difference between alcoholism and a lobotomy?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.