How do you weight a fish?

With a scale.

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Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why are fish cleverer than humans?

Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

How long should you microwave fish for?

Tuna half minutes.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

What's the best way for an American to lose weight?

Gamble in British currency.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

How do you tune a fish?

With its scales!

Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?

He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!