How do you weight a fish?

With a scale.

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Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What do fish do when they have cancer?

Nemotherapy

What do you call it when someone shoots a group of fish in a barrel?

A school shooting

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight?

because he chose from the kids menu

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.

Why did the lizard go on a diet ?

It weighed too much for its scales !