How does Jared like to play his flute?

In A minor.

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What would you like to Instagram?

how waiters should greet people

Why are there so many avenues in Belgium?

Because German soldiers like to march in the shadow.

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Whats a mile long and has a thousand arms?

The train to Auschwitz. Some German guy i used to play Path of Exile with told it to me.

How do you get a Criminal to stop running?

Play the national anthem

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Why was the note denied alcohol?

Because it was A Minor.

How are Chile mining companies and catholic priests different?

Chile mining companies get their minors stuck in shafts while catholic priests get their shafts stuck in minors

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Why did the 16 year old girl get pregnant?

She went to Jared.

What's the difference between Jared from Subway's gut and his junk?

He prefers his gut when it's down 45 pounds, and his junk when it's up 45 pounds.