How long have we had that pillow?

Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What are we going to spend 10 million dollars on?

asks his wife. "31 black"

What's the difference between a wife and a dog?

The later you get home, the happier one is to see you

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Whats baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

What the NSA say to NASA?

You're a day late and a dolla short!

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?

I haven't seen you for a year!

What is the most environmentally friendly game company?

The three that make Call of Duty; They've recycled their ONLY GAME, every year for the past 7 years.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

How do you get a date on Tinder?

Seriously guys, I've been trying for months so if anyone have any useful tips it would be much appreciated.

How long have I got?

Not long. Two, three months" casually places apple on desk "Ok, ok, six. Just get that out of here!"

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?

In a skeptic tank. (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious feel free to suggest a better wording!)

What's the difference between dog food and a hot dog?

I have no idea...

Pillow Jokes More Pillow Jokes

Why was my other pillow jealous?

Because I like to sleep around.

Why was the man so down in the mouth?

Because he ate his pillow.