How much did the critic tip the waiter?

Two cents

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Tip Jokes More Tip Jokes

How do you prevent a canoe from tipping?

Paint it black.

What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11?

When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Why is the Canadian Mint so confusing?

Because they don't make any cents.

Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny?

It just makes cents.

Critic Jokes More Critic Jokes

What did Journey say to the critic as he stormed out of their concert?

Don't stop! Be leaving!" Just a joke I thought up the other day.

How much did the critic tip the waiter?

Two cents

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

How does the chef prepare the chicken?

The waiter replies, "He looks it straight in the eye and says, 'You're gonna die.'"

Why does your sign say "Fine Dining"?

Waiter: We can dream can't we