How should I respond?

Source: http://qr.ae/xUchD

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What does TTYL mean?

I replied, "Talk to you later". So she responded, "No! Talk to me now! What does it mean "

What do you call a Vulcan philosopher who only responds in questions?

Spocrates.

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What do you call a lesbian with huge thumbs?

Well-endowed. http://img487.imageshack.us/img487/3628/ellenplaidshirt022ex9.jpg

Where does Lance Armstrong go to continue his education?

http://cms.bsu.edu/

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and a camel?

A fireside rug you can get a good hump on.

Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)