What are the first words Jared Fogle's girlfriend said to him?

Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies, sir?"

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Why doesn't Bill like old houses?

A: He's afraid of the draft.

What's up, girl?

Do you like bad boys kicks rug or good guys fixes rug

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Why did the old man buy his wig at the thrift store?

Because he didn't want toupee.

How is marijuana stock sold on the stock market?

Buy high sell higher.

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What do you call a show about puns?

A play on words.

Why was 4 afraid of 5?

Because 5 was a Registered Six Offender. Edit: a word.

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What did the sheep obsessed convict say to Jared Fogle?

I have a footlong waiting for **ewe** back in my cell!!!!

What do you call a fight between a Mexican and Jared Fogle?

Alien vs Predator.