What did iodine say to Xenon when caesium died?

Well, I guess we better Barium.

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What did Kermit the Frog say after Jim Hensen died?

Nothing...

What do you do to a chemist after they die?

You Barium

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What is the difference between 1 Gb and 2 Gb?

Student - Well, I don't know. I guess one is a bit too high?

How about an office party?

ME: crosses out "replace coworkers with puppies" I guess

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What do you do with dead atoms?

Barium

What do you do to a chemist after they die?

You Barium