What did Jonathan Ross say after breaking in to a large kitchen to steal some utensils?

It was worth the whisk

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

How did Helen Keller break her arms?

She tried to read a road sign going 45mph

What does a cow ride when his car is broken?

A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle!

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What Do You Call it When Someone Steals Someone Else's Coffee?

A Mugging.

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

Utensil Jokes More Utensil Jokes

What is Shakespeare's favourite writing utensil?

I don't know, but it was either 2B or not 2B.

What did the writing utensil take for his high sugar level?

A: Pencil-in.