How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What does Sonic say on the first day of Ramadan?

Gotta go fast!

How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Hella. How long does it take them Days.

House Jokes More House Jokes

How did you get into my house?

business.

Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?

A. So they can find their way back to the house.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do Vampires hate Writers?

Because they hate Type O's

Why was the Queen of Horses hated by her subjects?

Because she was too ahoof.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

How does a coat steal something?

They jacket

Shape Jokes More Shape Jokes

What do little green men do to stay in shape?

They do Yoda.

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What advice would you give to a fish?

Stay in school and keep up with current affairs.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Chase Jokes More Chase Jokes

Why couldn't the spotty cat chase the sheep?

Because her Mum wouldn't leopard be a shepherd

What time would it be if five elephants were chasing you?

A: Five after one.

Ostrich Jokes More Ostrich Jokes

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

What do you call the offspring of Rick Ross and an Ostrich?

RickRosstrich.