What did the double hand amputee get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't managed to open it yet.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How can I help you today, Mr Simpson?

BART: I don't know where my hair starts

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. But I don't know how they got in there.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas?

Cancer

How do you know the Alphabet is celebrating Christmas?

When there is no "L" ("Noel")

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What does a child without arms get for x-mas?

gloves! nah don't know, it hasn't opened the present yet

How have you got that body?

I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the boot and there she was."

Manage Jokes More Manage Jokes

Why can't Arabs manage the scoreboards at ball games?

Because people get nervous when Mohammad starts counting down from 10.

How do you manage that?

I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.