What does a child without arms get for x-mas?

gloves! nah don't know, it hasn't opened the present yet

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a hot dog bun?

Frank

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between a roasted chicken and a time bomb?

If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner.

What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

Why didn't Santa give presents to any world leaders?

Because he thinks they're part of the illumi-naughty

Why did the rope not get any presents?

Because he was knotty.

X Jokes More X Jokes

Who invented the equation?

A X-pert

What is the integral of to the x?

The function of u to the n

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

How do Chinese parents pick a name for their child?

Throw an aluminum pan down the stairs.

How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't need a lightbulb when I have the furnace ready.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How does a blonde turn the lights on in the morning?

A: She opens the car door.

What did the double hand amputee get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't managed to open it yet.