What did the guy who got fired for always being late say?

It was just a matter of time.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do a pregnant teenager, frozen beer, and a burned pizza have in common?

Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.

What did T-Rex say after doing yoga for the first time?

dinosore

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why couldn't the fireman put out the fire?

Because his hose was in a different area code.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

For throwing out all the w's.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why did the blonde go to church?

B/c she heard there was a guy hung like this(https://riverchurchtelford.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/jesus.jpg)

Who were the participants?

Guy: ' The owner, the cop and me. '

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

What's the best thing about picking up a homeless chick?

It doesn't matter where you drop them off.

How do you find a dirty cop?

Call 911, it doesn't matter who answers