What did the guy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

Cancer.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a mentally ill person without arms and legs?

Call him whatever you want, its not like he's gonna get up and do anything about it.

How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes?

Hold up your arm and say "Go back you didn't say 'May I'"

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg shorter than the other?

Li Ning

What would Paul McCartney say after losing both his legs?

Suddenly....I'm not half the man I used to be....."

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What does deaf, mute and blind person get for christmas?

Cancer

What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why are informaticians always confusing the dates of christmas and halloween?

Because OCT 31 is the same as DEC 25.

Why am I getting my Christmas presents in August?

Her mom replies, "Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy."

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs driving a car?

Rex (made this one up myself!)

How often do you guys close your internet tabs?

One of mine is from the Kerry/Edwards campaign.