Why am I getting my Christmas presents in August?

Her mom replies, "Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy."

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How do you cover 18 holes with one hole?

Have your mom sit down on a golf course.

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

How is a Christmas tree like a man who's had a vasectomy?

They both have ornamental balls.

What happens to all the unsold christmas trees?

A Total TreeCull. Basically, on the evening of December 25th, every christmas tree salesperson does the trees

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How about an autograph mate?

Sure." He replied. So I signed a photo print of myself and gave it to him.

When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked "Would you like a bag?

I replied "No, she's not that ugly"

Christmas Present Jokes More Christmas Present Jokes

What did the boy with no hands get for a Christmas present?

Gloves.... Just kidding he hasn't got into it yet.

What types of trees never get Christmas presents?

Knotty Pines.

Chemotherapy Jokes More Chemotherapy Jokes

What do you say to a thin American?

Hows the chemotherapy going?

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

August Jokes More August Jokes

What are a school teachers 3 favorite words?

June, July, and August.

Why am I getting my Christmas presents in August?

Her mom replies, "Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy."