Did you try turning me off and on again?"
WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! In other room *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*
Recalculating route.
If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.
I make my own dough". My sister Katie came up with this one.
Have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man!! !
Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.
A fetaphile
A francophony
100. 1 to change the light bulb and the other 99 to complain about how the old light bulb was much better.
Oh, I can't complain."
Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.
