What do Jesus and your mom have in common?

They both got nailed all night.

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?

The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why did Mary and Joseph's WIFI get hacked?

Because Jesus WEPt.

What's the difference between Tim Howard and Jesus?

Jesus had 11 guys he could depend on.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

How can we possibly improve this?

Man invents wheel of cheese* "Nailed it!"

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

Why does the swimming pool get laid every night?

Because he makes all the ladies wet.