Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

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Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

What should you not gift a Syrian this year?

A drone

What's the gift that keeps on giving?

AIDS

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night.

I woke up exhausted!

Why does Shakira have such a hard time sleeping at night?

Because her hips won't lie.

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

How much should I trim off the back?

Me: Leave it long enough for him to wrap around his fist twice.

Why is toilet paper no good for wrapping presents?

Cos it's tear-able.

Homeless Man Jokes More Homeless Man Jokes

What do you call a homeless man?

A Hobo Sapien.

What's the difference between a hipster and a homeless man?

An Instagram account.

Stab Jokes More Stab Jokes

Why is he bleeding "Because you stabbed him?

FAIL "Because he doesn't floss" CORRECT!

How did you get malaria from a stab?

Malaryan Steel."

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

What the hell are you doing?

America: Getting rid of u

3rd Jokes More 3rd Jokes

Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

What do you call Quicksilver when he's duct taping people's mouths?

A running gag.