What do you call a German barber?

Herr Kutz (This was funnier when I was half asleep this morning)

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German Jokes More German Jokes

Why is the Champs-lyses lined with trees?

So the Germans can march in the shade.

What do you call a German who is up themselves?

A deutsche-bag

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Why don't you chat with us in the kitchenette in the morning?

Me: Because I'm not paid to be your friend & you say kitchenette.

What has 4 legs in the morning, two at lunch, and three in the evening?

A cannibal

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half of your dog...I hit it with my car.

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?