What has two legs and bleeds?

Half of your dog...I hit it with my car.

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call someone with no legs?

30 a week poorer.

What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs?

Consuelo.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What does a Korean need when they're taking their dog out?

Oven gloves.

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?

Because she's dead.

What kind of car does Yoda drive?

A Toy-Yoda

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?

He wanted her to hit the hay!

What do you call a Vietcong that's been hit by napalm?

Charlie Brown

Bleed Jokes More Bleed Jokes

What is puberty?

B- Do you bleed BD - ... B - You Will

How do you know when a liberal is really dead?

A: His heart stops bleeding.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What's half of a tuba?

A oneba.

How can you tell if the kid that stole your bike is half black and half polish?

He's running down the street with the bike under his arm.