What do you call a guy who plays the guitar unplugged?

An amputee

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in a pile of leaves?

Rustle

Why did the monster stop playing with his brother?

He got tired of kicking him around.

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Why are there no Walmarts in Syria?

Because there is a target on every corner. Guys, this syriaous.

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

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What did the man say after he got into a fight with the amputee?

You stumped me!

What do amputees and cricket have in common?

Stumps