Amputee Jokes

What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike?

Look ma, no hands!

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What do amputees and cricket have in common?

Stumps

What did the man say after he got into a fight with the amputee?

You stumped me!

What do you call a guy who plays the guitar unplugged?

An amputee

What do you call it when an amputee does Karate?

Partial Arts! :)

What did one amputee say to the other?

I'm as stumped as you are!

What do you call an amputee that can't answer riddles?

Stumped

What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for?

Amputee

What do you call Tinder for an amputee?

Timber

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50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

Who are some of the best readers in the world?

World Trade Center workers, some of them can read 50 stories in just 8 seconds!

How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?

Please get out of the swimming pool"

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why was Shakespeare always a good teammate to have?

Because no matter the sport, he would always play write

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words ;)

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

Who'd win if Batman fought Santa?

Before u say Batman, just remember who's watching you answer.

What places have the least racial tensions?

Bakeries, there are brownies and crackers there and yet they never fight.

Correct Jokes More Correct Jokes

What's the correct what to enter a Henry VIII convention?

You just Amblein.

Why are people still using a dictionary?

I just type the words into Google and see if it corrects me.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What do you tell a woman who wants a larger outlook on life?

Tell her to stand next to the kitchen window

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

Rjoke Jokes More Rjoke Jokes

What's the difference between Ethiopians and gorillas?

Nobody cares about Ethiopians dying. (First post on r/jokes and a bit offensive)

Why did the double arm amputee unsubscribe from r/jokes?

He lost his sense of humerus.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

What do you call a man who has lost the lower parts of his legs, but still somehow has his feet?

Tony.

Ma Jokes More Ma Jokes

How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?

He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"

What is it called when a thief steals a purse, runs into the street, then gets run over?

ma