What do you call a tear in the American flag?

An old glory hole.

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What do you call someone who only speaks one language?

American.

Why are Americans so bad at League of Legends?

because they can't protect their towers

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Why did the tear testify in court?

Because he was an eye wetness.

My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.

I had to draw my own conclusions.

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Why are there no American flags at the DNC?

Because the delegates were standing on them.

Why is it OK to wash an American flag in hot water?

Because these colors don't run.