What do you call a Vulcan philosopher who only responds in questions?

Spocrates.

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What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

What happened!?

The American responds, "Ei ffel".

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How many 1st AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Why are you asking me that question Can't you see I'm busy!

Why must you question everything I say!?

Everything " I replied

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What do you call a Vulcan sheep?

Shbaaaaaaaahk

What do Romulans and Vulcans do with their high school drop outs?

Send them to barber school.