What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?

Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why doesn't your menu list prices?

Waiter: We didn't want to make you sick before the food does.

Why did the dog jump into the sea?

He wanted to chase the catfish!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the man say to his big breasted ex-wife?

Thanks for the mammaries.

What was the engineer's reaction to his wife being too heavy?

Cantilever? (can't I leave her)

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

How do you stop an Italian from talking?

Tie his hands together

What do you call a fugitive, talking down to you while fleeing down the stairs?

a condescending con descending.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

How a husband describe his wife?

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

Why would I want to talk to your baby?

On the phone. It's a baby. If I wanted to hear random noises when I talk, I have a husband for that.