What does Putin say during his new years speech?

Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why is a beer like a woman?

After you drink one you can't shut up or drive.

Why do Muslim extremists prefer to drink cappuccino?

Because they hate french press.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why couldn't the Mexican work a wrench?

I don't know. Torqu?

How do they know what that is?

This movie doesn't seem very realistic, you guys.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How did the monster cure his sore throat?

He spent all day gargoyling.

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals ?

The Lakers . (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals. ) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke .

Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

Where did Putin tell the protesters where to meet?

Crimea River

Where does Putin negotiate?

The Crimea River