Why is a beer like a woman?

After you drink one you can't shut up or drive.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

How many Russians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and other to drink until the room spins.

Why don't math majors like to drink alcohol?

Because they don't like to drink and derive.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why didn't George like driving through tunnels with people in his car?

He didn't want to get carpool tunnel syndrome.

Why does the Buick Century have that name?

It's the average age of someone who drives one.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets?

Women.

What's 7 inches and makes women submissive?

A knife.

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

Why do men fart more than women?

Because women won't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.

How do you get Akbar to shut up?

Muzzle'm.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

What does Moses do when he wants a beer?

He brews!