What happened to your three week diet ?

Player: I finished it in three days !

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What do you call a Mustard that keeps remembering things that haven't happened yet?

dijon-vu mustard... (Sorry)

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?

Because then World War 3 would never happen

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why should a honeymoon only be six days?

ANSWER: Because seven days makes a whole week.

What's Serena Williams' favorite time of day?

Ten-ish.

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

How are you doing this morning?

Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you

Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What do you call a policewoman who hasn't shaved for a week?

Constable

Whatever for?

Fred: Then you'd be in a cast for weeks.

Player Jokes More Player Jokes

What did the cannibal coach yell when his player twisted his ankle?

Wok it off! Wok it off!

What happened to your three week diet ?

Player: I finished it in three days !