What happens to Captain America when he dies?

He goes to the Evans

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What happens when a dragon vapes?

Chemtrails.

Why was the UKIP voter angry?

Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)

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Why are most cemeteries fenced in?

Because everyone is dying to get in

Why can't a fish be a radio host?

Because if he goes on air, he'll die.

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What Metallica song does Captain America hate?

Trapped Under Ice.

What do you get when you dress the Hulk in Captain America's clothes?

A Star-Spangled Banner.