What happens when almonds die?

Diamond

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the baseball played who was unfaithful to his wife?

He was thrown out at home. - His two balls got a strike.

Why is ur wife shouting at you?

Friend: she told me to upload her photo in FB, I uploaded in OLX... Mistakes do happen

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What is cold, grey, and ugly?

Me after I take all the Nyquil and die. Also, Janet Reno.

Why do cemeteries have fences around them?

Because people are dying to get in.

Almond Jokes More Almond Jokes

Why is almond milk called almond milk?

Because nobody would drink it if it was called nut juice.

What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

What do you call a line of diamonds on fire?

Hotline Bling.

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.