What happens when almonds die?

Diamond

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you give a cow marijuana?

The "steaks" get higher

What happened to the Russians and Austrians at Austerlitz?

They got Napoleon Blownapart! Happy 200th Anniversary of Waterloo everyone!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the Russians send a dog to space to die?

Because they didn't Lajka.

What happens in a battle between storm troopers and red shirts?

Star Trek) The storm troopers all miss, and the red shirts all die

Almond Jokes More Almond Jokes

What happens when almonds die?

Diamond

Why is almond milk called almond milk?

Because nobody would drink it if it was called nut juice.

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

Why do we say dogs are man's best friend? Why not say dogs are man's and woman's best friend?

Because diamonds are a woman's best friend.

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.