What have I got in my hands?

A double decker bus! You looked!

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees. (Not sure if this one translates well to english)

When I look up at the majesty of all them stars it really gets me to thinkin, when we gonna get that ding dong roof patched up!?

Ah horse apples!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?

The Army.

Why did the man with no hands go to the doctor?

Because he didn't feel well.

Double Decker Bus Jokes More Double Decker Bus Jokes

Why should you never sit at the top deck of a double decker bus?

Because there is no driver up there.

What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head ?

The deceased !