What if I draw a peanut on her napkin?

Wife: Please go wait in the car

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did the Sheikh cross the road?

To get to the other wife.

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why do elephants prefer cars instead of motorcycles?

motorcycles don't have trunks

How do computers measure pain?

Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

Draw Jokes More Draw Jokes

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

What do you call a woman who can't draw?

Tracy

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?

One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.

Peanut Jokes More Peanut Jokes

What did people call the Nutty Professor before he became a professor?

Mr. Peanut

What do you mean, Johnny?

Is it shaped like a peanut " "No," says Johnny. "It's salty"

Napkin Jokes More Napkin Jokes

What is in common between a napkin and a person?

If you sleep with a person, he/she is ur nap-kin.

What do paper towels call their family?

NapKIN