What if Stephen hawking was the real slim shady?

but we would never know because he couldn't stand up

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What has 4308 eyes, 28957 legs, and 398503 teeth?

I don't know, but if you see it, RUN!

How do you know Putin is late for Thanks Giving?

He's Russian to Turkey.

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What do you call a group of rabbits, standing single file, hopping backwards?

A receding hare line!

What did Steven hawking say when he first got his wheelchair?

I can't stand being in this

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What's black and found at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

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Why did Stephen get an A on his test?

He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

What's the opposite of Stephen Hawking?

Stephen Talking.