Hawk Jokes

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

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Why is Stephen Hawking successful?

He can't run away from his responsibilities.

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stpehen hawking after a house fire.

What do scientists and vegetables have in common?

Stephen Hawking

What will ESPN talk about if both the Hawks and Rockets make it to the NBA final?

The NHL playoffs

What's the best vegetable to bring to a party?

Stephen Hawking

Why is Stephen Hawking so controversial?

He never changes his position.

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents?

Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet.

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Where are you?

I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice I AM

What if Stephen hawking was the real slim shady?

but we would never know because he couldn't stand up

What's black and found at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What did the Australian say to the hawk?

Good eye!

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

What's black and is on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a housefire.

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The nun has hope in her soul!

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Everyone keeps telling me that I should know...

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What object crashes the most?

A kaleidoscope!

How is Islam like a GPS?

You may think you're on the right path, but if you follow it literally, you'll end up crashing into a building.

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Piece of cake.

What Does Stephen Hawking have in common with Rosie O'Donnell?

Neither of them has anything going on below the waist.

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How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day?

F5.

What does Brock Lesnar do if a website isn't loading?

He gives it an F5

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What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"

What is Stephen Hawking's favourite song?

Satisfaction

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What do you call it when a vegetable suffers heart failure?

A hearti*choke*. ... :D

Why does Neville Longbottom like herbology so much?

Because his parents are vegetables.

Staircase Jokes More Staircase Jokes

What do you call a Cadillac with a staircase on the back?

An escalador.

What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.