What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do particle physicists like to drink?

Pina colliders.

What do you call a bartender giving two dolphins a drink?

Serving dual porpoises!

800 Jokes More 800 Jokes

How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar?

Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds.

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

Evening Jokes More Evening Jokes

What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening?

Have a nice bite!

Why does the house only have one window?

Cheeseburger (joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)