What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do you call a person who drinks way too much soda?

A Coke-o-nut.

Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

She heard that the drinks were on the house.

800 Jokes More 800 Jokes

How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar?

Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds.

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

Evening Jokes More Evening Jokes

What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening?

Have a nice bite!

What losses its head in the morning and gets it back in the evening?

A pillow