800 Jokes

What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00?

Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. to make joke more apparent

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar?

Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds.

You might also enjoy:

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites ?

Don't bite any witches !

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What's a sheep's favourite band?

Ewe 2

Why don't the French need air conditioner?

They use 2-in-1 shampoo

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook?

Because he only had followers. Not friends.

Why don't Game of Thrones characters tweet with Twitter?

They were ravin' with Raven.

Llama Jokes More Llama Jokes

What does a llama do when it goes on holidays?

Alpaca ya bags.

What does one llama say to the other llama before the smoke some weed?

Alpaca bowl!!!

Candy Bar Jokes More Candy Bar Jokes

How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar?

Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds.

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

Ruin Jokes More Ruin Jokes

What do you say when somebody else has ruined your joke?

RIP post

What's the difference between math and meth?

One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.

Nra Jokes More Nra Jokes

What's the difference between David Blaine and the NRA?

The former has a cunning array of stunts

What do NRA members and the UCC shooting victims have in common?

Both will never get a college degree.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why was the fish processing factory built beside the computer factory?

So that they could make fish and chips.

What do you call a fish with 27 eyes?

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish