What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

Previous Random Joke Next
2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?

1 or 2? 1... or 2?

How do 2 psychics greet each other?

Hello, how am I " "You're fine, how am I "

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's one thing you hated as a kid but love as an adult?

Molestation.

What did the lesbian rattlesnake say to Hillary after they finished making love?

You know, they're right . . . we do taste like chicken!"

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Why doesn't Pac-Man use Twitter?

Because he doesn't like being followed.

What is the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter?

With Twitter you only get 140 characters.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

What's the thin line between love and hate?

A condom.

What is a condom with a hole?

Kinder Surprise

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

Why couldn't the Buddhist monk send his mother a birthday card via email?

He had no attachments.

What did the terrorist send in the mail?

A CAIR package.

800 Jokes More 800 Jokes

How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar?

Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds.

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

Rule Jokes More Rule Jokes

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

If I had to guess the religion of Daniel Day Lewis...

I would probably say Methodist.

Llama Jokes More Llama Jokes

What does Rick and the Llama have in common?

Caaaaarl!!

What did the llama say when asked to a picnic?

Alpaca lunch!