Why did Shrodinger's girlfriend dump him?

Because she didn't like his lack of commitment

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why did the man quit his job at the helium gas factory?

He didn't like being spoken to in that voice

What can I get for you?

Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked M: By anyone other than my wife

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

How can a beautiful girl like you be single?

Dave, I literally dumped you 5 minutes ago. Please leave"

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

Lack Jokes More Lack Jokes

What do you call an immoral lesbian citizen of Rivendell who hosts a talk-variety show and lacks character?

An elven degenerate.

Why do new Irish mothers keep dying?

Because they lack taters

Commitment Jokes More Commitment Jokes

Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?

A mental hospital.

Why is Barbie's boyfriend afraid of commitment?

He's a chic Ken.