What is the best way to follow a lost dog's paw prints?

With a track-tor!

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Who lose in the presidential debate?

American.

Why was the fruit farmer losing money?

He couldn't grow a pear

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What religion do Saudi Arabian cows follow?

Mooslim

What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

A washing machine won't follow you around after you dump your load in it.

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What's the best way to catch a fish?

Have someone throw it at you.

What's the best way to get a Punjab in India?

Hire a cunning linguist.