What is the best way to watch the "Saw" films?

In bits and pieces.

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What did the cat do when he didn't want to watch the movie?

He paws-ed it!

What kind of watch does Germs Bond wear?

An Amoeba.

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What's the difference between babies and love?

Love doesn't burn. What's worst part about making love to a dead baby. Digging up the coffin. How long does take to play hide and seek with a dead baby? It depends how small the pieces are.

What do you call the outer edge of a piece of bread that has been toasted?

Crusty

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What's the best way to make friends?

tell a woman you love her and she says "i think we're just friends..."

What's the best way to ward off ghosts?

To which I replied: "a camera."

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What does a suicidal person say while leaving a party?

I want to hang by myself for a bit. Edit: Not suicidal. Just gallows humor.

What goes into the mouth of a quarter horse?

Two bits!